Snippet 1b

Sulu glared after her, but did not move toward the doors.

After a moment, McCoy looked up at Kirk. "I think Uhura has the right idea, Jim," he said, giving him a pat on the back before looking at the rest of them. "We've all had a big day. Maybe it would be best if we all got some rest."

"Good idea," Chekov said, though he looked nervous at the idea. "...in our big, wast, scary condos..."

"Et'll be fine," Scotty said cheerfully. "Jus' think a' the Boogeyman as a big, angry Klingon!"

Chekov paled.

Sulu looked at Chekov, a sympathetic look coming over his face. "You stay with me, Chekov, if you like."

"I vill sleep on ze floor," Chekov said quickly, seeming quite relieved at the idea.

"Nope. Not safe. Makes it easier for the monster under the bed to get you." Kirk said simply.

Chekov looked terrified. "I do not like zis vorld!"

Sulu gave Kirk a look as he started to lead Chekov away. "I have a convertible couch, if you were prefer."

"You are too kind, Sulu," Chekov said, still sounding fretful.

Kirk rolled his eyes heavenward.

This was just NOT turning out to be a good day.

*

The next morning, Kirk woke up to a rap on his door.

At 6:30 am.

"Oh, you have got to be shitting me," he muttered, lifting his head from where he'd fallen asleep on the couch - in front of his new TV - and rubbed a hand over his eyes as he forced himself to stand up groggily. "Coming...just a second..." He reached the door and, half-awake, tugged it open. "...hello?"

"Mr. Kirk?" A young man in a black suit gave him a brief wave over a small brown box. "May I come in?"

Kirk squinted at him. "Uh...yeah...sure," he stepped back, gesturing in. "Come in and...uh...have a seat."

The young man nodded with a brief smile, stepping in before taking off his sunglasses. He looked around the room and nodded before setting the box down on the nearest table. "I'm not going to stay long. I'm here to give you this box," He put a hand on it. "In here contains all the information about the city. Places to go, what's expected of you in this century, etc. Also, there are phone numbers in case you have questions."

"Wow, you're too kind," Kirk grumbled, sitting down in a wooden chair across from him and grabbing the box. "Should I go out and buy some autographs, too? I bet we have a ton of fans." He added sarcastically.

The man laughed quietly. "That would be an understatement, Mr. Kirk."

Kirk paused. "...really?"

The man looked at him in amusement. "Your show was on since you were an infant, Jim." he said, giving him a pointed look. "I don't know one person that has not at least heard about the show. The majority of the world watches it - it's even translated into other languages for other countries."

Kirk blinked, looking just a bit overwhelmed. He sat back, opening his mouth slowly. "So...we really are...famous, then? Like - celebrities?"

The man laughed again, shaking his head. "Bigger than that, Mr. Kirk. Celebrities only cover a country or two at a time. People in Antarctica take their televisions to watch you get naked with your CMO."

Kirk's face immediately flushed red. "...what?" He croaked faintly. "...you mean...we were...being...filmed while we...?"

The man laughed at his face, slapping his knee. "You thought they would give you your privacy?" he asked, incredulous. "I mean, don't get me wrong, it wasn't on national television...but the pornos started making trillions around that time for some odd reason..." He winked at him. "I must admit, it was a real turn-on."

Kirk swallowed hard, his eyes bulging slightly in shock and fury. If McCoy EVER found out about that... "...did they do that with Spock and Rorek, too?"

"Whew yeah," The man said, laughing again. "You learn a lot by watching them."

"Oh my god," Kirk sat back sharply in his chair. "...Spock would commit Vulcan suicide if he ever knew about that. It's not - like - a well-known fact, is it? I mean, seriously...Bones will do his own terrorist attack on the government if he knows we were being watched..."

"Well it's not a goal for us to let everyone know," The man said, smiling at him. "Are you two still together?"

"Uh...yeah," Kirk said, glancing cautiously at the door of the living room before looking back at the man. "Yeah, we are. But...we really are off the hook, right? I mean, we're famous - but we're not being filmed or anything, right?"

The man frowned, but couldn't keep the smile off of his face. "I think the government would shut us down if that happened, Sir. Although it would be a fascinating sister series."

"I think I'll pass on that," Kirk said quickly, glowering again. "Is there anything else I can do for you?"

The man shifted his weight with a shrug. "Do you have any other questions for me?"

"No," Kirk said - but then he paused. "Wait, yes." He squinted an eye at the man, as though being cautious. "...where do you buy food in this city? And...do we use currency? Coins and paper money?"

The man smiled. "Money in this century comes on cards," he said, leaning forward and opening the box, pulling out a brown wallet. He opened it up and showed him a plastic card. "If you swipe this in a machine at any store, you've paid for the items you wanted. And," he said with a laugh as he put it away. "I wouldn't worry about running out."